It's almost 3am as I'm starting to write this post and I realize that I'm not going to be able to sleep unless I get this out of my head and heart....so here I go, telling my business...but I have a point... so hear me out.
This past week was one of those crazy "Please God stop talking to me through all these signs" week for me.
Seeing my grandmother (who helped my mother raise me) in ICU, recovering from being brought back from the brink of death, and having to face the reality that at 82 years old, she has more days behind her than in front of her .....things get put in perspective pretty quick. Being in Victoria, Texas for a whole week also led to more TV watching in one week than I do in three months.
Normally, I would have been in the office, probably in somebody's meeting when President Obama held a press conference announcing the official release of the long form of his birth certificate.
But, I was lounging on "my couch" (it's the couch I always sit on when I'm home) in the living room of the house I grew up in trying to force myself to work on a PowerPoint for work. At first I wasn't paying attention to the television, but then the tone of the President's voice caught my attention. He sounded a bit pissed, which is a sound that seemed uncharacteristic for Barack Obama so I started paying attention.
After a few minutes my heart sank because the following thought hit me like a ton of bricks in my chest:
If Barack Obama was white no one would question his birth or ask him to prove it.
Then I hit twitter on my phone and made me some tweets out of the hurt I felt. Yea!! That will fix them, me tweeting that Donald Trump and the rest of the "Birthers" are Racist! LOL (I can hear my mom say, "Yeah Right" in her dismissive tone).
Then I thought about all the times I or my minority or female colleagues have been questioned or challenged about some bullshit on the general principle that we could be put through unnecessary drama for Racist shits and giggles. Unfortunately, I have seen an instance or two Post MBA. I also hear about it happening to others on the MBA circuit. This is why I'm mentally on guard 24/7 and I never let myself get too comfortable. Sounds crazy doesn't it...especially if you are white...it sounds like absolute paranoia.
Sadly though, this incident with the President only makes me put my personal Racism Alert level at Orange.
Clearly, the "Birthers" and their fearless leader in stupidity, Donald Trump don't even get that they are racist. Donald Trump said he has no problems with "the Blacks." I don't know if I should laugh or cry at him calling African Americans "the Blacks." This lack of self awareness in regards to white privilege and racism is the reason I decided to come back to work instead of stay with my family in Texas and take care of my parents.
You: Well FARE, that's silly, if your boss said you do what you need to do to take care of your family, then you should do what you need to do.
Me: Ah Haha!!....I can't do that because I don't get the benefit of doubt. Not only have I been there less than a year, I am still in "proving myself "mode. Oh yeah and I'm a black female. This all factors into my head as "take my black butt back to work."
So I arrived back in the North last Friday night. I'm still tired, but I will be in the office bright eyed and bushy tailed Monday morning. Have you seen how much gas is now...I need this job just to put gas in my tank and buy food.
Bottom Line: There is still Racism in America which means I can't be caught slippin' at work.
What would have happened if Barack Obama didn't have the birth certificate? His credibility would have been shot with a quickness. He wouldn't have gotten the benefit of doubt. This is the way racism rears its ugly head....mistakes that whites pat each other on the back and say, "We will get them next time Bob," for us it's "Tyrone, You're Fired" (said in my Donald Trump voice) Then Tyrone's firing is used as an example of why not to hire anyone else that looks like Tyrone.
Now for a light of hope, which I got watching Oprah this week...Yes Oprah..if you hatin'.... stop hatin'!!!
Chris Rock was on Oprah and two take aways I had from this show:
1. Racism is coming to an end. He compared racism to a cranky child fighting sleep. In the end, the child puts up one last big fuss, and then the child is out. The "Birthers" are hopefully racism's last big fuss and then we as a country can put this crap to bed.
2. Chris Rock told a story about his daughter telling him about her black friend who liked a little white boy. The white boy told the little black girl that he didn't like her. When he was asked why, instead of saying, because you are black, the little white boy said," because you are annoying." Which at seven years old, this sounds about right.
Children, aka our future, will relate to the differences and similarities of human kind in the manner in which we teach them to see the world. Finally we are starting to get it...what my grandmother always tells me," Baby, we got to love one another, that's why God put us here, to love each other."
Now, I can go to sleep thanking God for giving me another day to love and be loved.
Love,
FARE
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